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Thursday, July 28

Just a few thoughts

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

4.. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

Tuesday, July 26

AWESOME

OK anyone who can see this MUST go and read these stories.

http://www.hangar1.freeserve.co.uk/

Starcruiser Chronicles; best damn thing I have read in a while. ANd let me tell you I read alot. I just wish there were more of them.


Kay

PS Shortest post ever

Tuesday, July 12

Thinking

Hello blog,
Today was hot really hot 97 45% humidity 105 heat index code orange day. So you know that it was time for well monitoring. Standing in the blistering sun for a few hours 2 or 3 times a day. My total idea of fun and unhappiness. But ok. So it goes on four times a year and these times have been strategically placed to make the most of the most miserable weather of the area. One is in the coldest part of winter, then the cold rainy ass spring, then the hella hotness, then the windy rainy fall. What the fuck where these people thinking. I will tell you, NOTHING. There is no thought needed for most federal government jobs, in fact if you think too much you will begin to hate your job. Man if people actually knew what the hell their tax dollars are spent on they would SHIT, not a brick, not a cow but a hole fuckin 1970 caddi. It's a nightmare when you are the only seemingly sane person amount the masses who think it is ok to be charged fuckin $300 for lamination. Whatever. OK that is the end of my heat induced rage. Man I hate to sweat when it has nothing to do with sex.

later

Monday, July 11

SciFi and Sex

Yet another great weekend. The best combination in the world. Scifi and sex make for a great few evening when I can forget that the rest of my life sucks hairy sweaty nasty dick. OK so it was all up to the 7th and 8th seasons of Red Dwarf to keep me occupied between attack. Let me tell you if you wake your man with you mouth wrapped around his cock, you are going to have a good day; great even. Man I don't know how long the great sex is going to last but I sure as shit am going to draw it out as long as humanly possible. I mean C and I have been have excellent sex for quite a while. Well I think that I am going to just have to leave it in the hand of fate and the capable suggestions of many self/sexhelp knowledge pools out there.

OK I am a great way back reader of Freddy and Eddy but I found this other place called Clitical. And my I say (yes yes I shall) that it has some awesome information on all subjects of the lovelife and beyond. Well gotta cut this short.

Later
-Kay

Tuesday, July 5

Damn; Just Damn

OK it is Tuesday. Injury check. Usual thorough sex aches and pains plus, sprained wrist, pulled muscles in the right thigh and right buttock, left side and left side of my back and neck. Two ripped off nails (and they where all finally the same great scratching length) Hair a mess and I do believe that I am a little dehydrated. But man did I have a great couple of days. Love the long weekend. It got off to a slow start just cleaning up after a housemate of C's moved out and left a mess. Loads of cleaning in fact. Leaving us both a little tired and not too energetic. Still managed a descent level of tired need that body sex. so Friday cool. Saturday shopping and unwinding with my g/f T she is nuts. So Sunday C and I decide after our usual early morning Sunday sex that we didn't feel much like getting up so back to sleep. Well that extra 7 hours or so of sleep must have done the trick cause it was nearly time for C to get off to work and everyone was in a good mood. I got us something to eat and we had a lazy evening. C got off to work and now I can't sleep, so off to the internet. Did a little shopping and hunting around for some things I have been needing for a while.

OK Now here's the good part and the real reason for all the damage. Comes home in the morning, now I have been up most of the night so I decide we need to get a little sleep just for a little while. About 3 hours later I wake up frisky as hell. I am thinking to meslef, "it would be just too bad for me to reach over and give my favorite party favor a little stroken". So I do! Let me tell you I think that every man should at one time in their lives awaken to the sensation of the woman they love sucking their cock like a starving woman. Now I didn't quite know what I was starting though. In hindsight I know that I shouldn't have opened the gate. We never did get out of that room on Monday (which was a holiday). Now I am all for great sex numerous times but 5 times in a day that started a 2pm and ended at like 9pm may just be the limit of what this body can take. I am hurtin today. But it hurts so damn good. Why is it that you never feel this shit happening? I work a predominately a computer job so I totally could have done without the wrist being in pain. But the edge of the bed legs up balancing maneuver that got it that way is definitely indispensable. Just have to work on that dismount. Now I am all for great days of lazy sex but a day of beingattackedd andravagedd is much better... :-) Now satted and exhausted I have answered my own question "Can I ever have enough sex?" NO I loved ever second of it. Even that one time I couldn't move afterward and had to be picked up and placed up on the bed. It is all great. And that pizza guy probably is a little traumatized for his delivery. Really thought 45mins would give us enough time for another go. Guess we where wrong. hehe

There is definitely something to be said for that second when he looks into your eyes and a hunger enters his and you know that you are so in for the fucking of your life. Ah just can't wait for the next long ass weekend. May even take an extra day off next time.

Floating deliciously,

-Kay

Monday, July 4

Note to self

Dear self,
What the fuck is going on with you. We are all in here and you are letting the crazy run the show. Now we understand that life can be confusing and we are not used to allowing all these feeling s to surface but get a fuckin grip on it. OK it is one thing to get pissed off at something totally trivial and unimportant it is totally another to attempt to hold on to that anger once the irrational thoughts have passed to try to not look looney. C knows that I am crazy as hell healing a lot from bad things and trying to move on. The man is a fuckin saint and we need to respect the fact that he is not going anywhere and stop trying to push him off. He is spectacular in most things (especially bed which is a total leap up and a mush) and he actually attempts to understand you. You freakin ninnie you need to stop trying to find out why and just enjoy the love.

OK so it is scarier than any other thought you can have but there are people who love you for being you, not for what you can do for them, or what you represent in their social order, and yes he thinks you are a damn sexy black woman but that doesn't mean that he thinks you are less some how (that one is seriously fucked up in our mind) You gota lay off him. He may not be perfect but guess the fuck what neither are we. And yes he has got a serious need to fondle your ass in public, well we all know we love that part so hehe nice. And he has never tried to tell you that erotica is for screwed up people.

(side note: I find erotica to be an excellent and wonderful form of literature which is as all literature littered with the good and the bad but if you are interested in some very good reads anything edited or written by Maxim Jakubowski or Violet Blue are great places to start. Not to mention www.abebooks.com is a great book resource for all types of books, especially hard to finds)

That is just it we have been waiting for the other shoe to drop and it is not. It has been um 6 hole damn months and it still won't fall. Where the fuck is the other shoe. It can't just be the trivial bs ever gal of a geek must deal with that just isn't big enough. There has to be something.

No there doesn't have to be something. Stop it. He is wonderful and treats you like you are a Goddess and you are just not used to it. Sit back enjoy and stop trying to see the asshole in the prince. There is no one you know who is happier than you while in his arms. And anyone thinking they are lying to themselves. The universe sent him to us, US damn it, over obstacle and trial, and we need to sit back and let the love flow.

OK there in lies our problem, emotion, it is an all or nothing bag. Can't just let one or two out. I don't think that we want all that shit flowing all over the place. We have lead a nice controlled existence and it has been alright.

Alright, no alright isn't good enough anymore. We want to live and have fun, love and be loved, move in a life as one with one tied to our soul. That is why my dear we have got to WAKE UP. There is no later, time for that tomorrow. We nearly lost him once and by the grace of all things holly and reverent we managed to reclaim our love. I am not willing to let go of him, but I don't know if I can let go of this part of me.

That part in most scared, scarred people that yells at the top of it's lungs "pain is coming, you know it is, no one is that perfect, if you miss the signs it is going to hurt you so bad" so now everything is a sign. Every word double edges, every gesture under scrutiny. If you can't get a hold on this there is going to be some serious problems.

OK so we have established that we are in need of some calming down, and some reality check. The thing that is not clear is what are we supposed to do with the reflective armor that we have been coating ourself with for the last 10 years. Is it supposed to just dissolve.