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Monday, March 19

Faith

If Faith is knowing God can. 

What do you call knowing god can but doesn't 

I think that's called BITTER.


Even better

Now there are 300 applications out there with a phone number that has been disconnected. 

Great

I may as well quit my job and go pick a good cardboard box and my spot under the freeway. thanks for nothing 4 year college degree
thanks for nothing the extra year for ESRI certification. Thanks for NOTHING all this wasted education and being nice to people. fuckum all I am done. 


Its been a while

Well its been a while and my new years resolution to be more positive has gone to the dogs. 

SH is right. when you try to make a change the world is just going to come at you and dump on you till you give up.

Again I have had to sit through my family. "how are things:" no one wants to hear "I am alone my life is shit I make what I did when I was 17 I can't pay my bills my phone is about to be disconnected and I will never be happy wealthy or worth anything to anyone on this miserable POS of a planet." No they just want you to say fine and ask how they are doing so they can tell you all about all the nice things they own and the good shit happening to them. I don't give flying bloody FUCK. I have spent my life following the rules and have been fucked at every turn for it. 

did I get my good job because I didn't have kids in high school and went to college at a good school 
fuck no I have a shity job that is so much work and stress I have to wear braces on my hands every damn day now and the stress and commute are so bad all my eyebrows have fallen out. Guess what IT DIDN"T HELP 

DID it get me the good life to marry my best friend and spend all my money and credit trying to fix his shit. NO it didnt' what it got me was an alcoholic who didn't give a shit enough to bother with the counseling I was left sitting in looking stupid. Not just once but twice cause it was "not worth it" Well Fuck you too. GUESS WHAT THAT DIDN'T HELP MY LIFE EITHER

Did not taking charity and going on assistance when I lost my 45,000/year job look like a good work ethic to any company I have applied to. NOPE. I am just now stuck in a 23,000/ year job. With more then 300 applications with a revision of the resume at ever 100 sent out.  but not one... ... NOT ONE FUCKING INTERVIEW

And every time I go to one of these family things I have some fuck telling me I need to thank god for my blessings. I actually thing I should be able to say "thank you god for waking me, now can I get some other damn blessings cause having my physical and emotional body rapped by the life you have given me just makes me want to kill as many people I can before the police get me." But no that kind of truthfulness gets you kicked out of churches cause you have for fake being happy with the shitty lot you have been dealt. While you sit around and watch every drug addled sex crazed 3 kids by 3 fathers sorry ass morally bankrupt POS get new high paying jobs every 6 months. Apparently I don't know how to lie effectively enough on my resume. 

One day it will all be fair. Yup Ill be in a hole and the worms have a nice new meal and home.