Looking for the truth

the man I don't want hollerin that I am missing out on a great thing in him. Yes I am missing out on being played and treated like a piece of ass on the side. I don't have time for that bull shit. I am not going to be anyone's sometimes bitch. You are either all in or you are OUT.

 

then the guy I want telling me I am wonderful and he loves me and that he misses me. Guess what you don't love me enough to be in my life. OR be there for me. but you can call whenever you need to be bailed out of jail. or when you need something. I repeat, You are either all in or you are OUT.

 

where the hell did all the men go, cause all these boys are a pain in the ass. I will keep lookin. but for the first time in my life celibacy is actually sticking. Its been almost a year. And I haven't died... ... .... BORED yes very bored. but not dead.

 

it ain't hard when your options are to be alone of be treated like shit by useless fuckers who have no thought to your value. Man I miss gentleman. How did I miss mine. I guess I was with one of the assholes at the time.

 

I guess by 30 all the good guys are Taken and happily married, Gay and happily coupled, or Turned into one of these assholes. I know they aren't born this way they are made. Guess its time to start looking through the obituaries for men. Damn I hoped I would be at least 60 before I had to start that practice.

My mind is trying to save me

I now have the worlds most boring job. Low pay and tons of time wasting training that amounts to NOTHING. There are step by step procedures for everything from loggin in ot wiping your nose. Why do the feel the need to go through them in big training sessions with powerpioints. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!. I just keep fallin asleep and when I wake up I just have to read the steps I slept through and BAM Im all caught up. I really wish I could get these people to stop wasting my time. I have a damn college education I tink I can follow a step by step. 

 

My mind will continue making me backout in these long ass 2 hour trainings that go over 15 minutes of actual work.

 

HELP MY SANITY!!!! I need to get LAID.

 

 

You SUCK

Guess what. I didn't ask you for a relationship. I didn't ask you to try to be my man. I didn't even ask you for sex or any kind of contact besides the friendship that you offered. WTF is your issue that you think you can tell me that I am too much trouble for anyone to be bothered with. Where do you get fucking nerve to say that kind of shit to me. What kind of friend is that. I am not psychic nor am I a mechanic. How is an alternator my fault for being careless. Well guess what when you loose you panel lights from a fuse how the hell am I supposed to know when the car is having problems. the speed and rpm hands work so I think the damn panel is fine. Nope there is a fuse for all the little hazard lights separate from the one for the gauges with hands. But its my fault and makes you think you are superior to me cause you have some car skills. FUCK OFF

 

Life

2 jobs and still not making it for real.

 

life is just a little tough right now. but I will get through it.

 

new lives

Well if the dawn(read return of power) after all those storms isn't beautiful and enlightening. YA nature. 

As everything good in life sometimes you have to move through the messy painful or hurtful. 

Sit back and hold tight to who you know you really are and forget the hater.

Thats their job. Don't worry about them. 

Walk on on the path you choose. 

today I am past bitter

Bitter is a hard place to live.

everything said is an attack. every disappointment a personal failure.

 

but on the other side of bitter lies sweet oblivion.

 

you pass from the rapids of bitter into shoals of I don't give a fuck.

 

You got money - I don't give a fuck

you think you are cute - I don't give a fuck

you think we don't know you are stepping out on your wife - I don't give a fuck about you. If you can't be truthful with you spouse get the fuck away from me you loser.

 

and the best part of being past bitter. I no longer need to be nice to any of these sorry ass POS men out here who want to use and abuse every woman they see. then have the nerve to ask why women have so much baggage. Well Ill let you in on this last secret. Its cause of you. Lying disease spreading, unfaithful, morally bankrupt, sorry excuse for a boy. Maybe one day you will grow up to imitate a man.

 

I love DGF. best mindset EVER.

 

You wake up one day and realize that there is no man who will ever measure up they stopped trying a long time ago.

 

after the wind

Power out all over town. not at my job. so Im here working. as usual. like has become so boring with two jobs and still not making bills. its hot and at least we have power. which is more then I can say for lots of people. 

I am so bored. bored with nothing to do at all.