Ladies and gentalman this is the man we should all be looking for

Find a guy who

calls you beautiful instead of hot,

calls you back when you hang up on him,

will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

kisses your forehead,

wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,

holds your hand in front of his friends,

is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

turns to his friends and says, "...that's her/him.", with a smile.

 

 

 

 

Now if we would all track down this man and clone him...

Just kidding. I got this in an email from a good friend and it made me realise how good I have it with Charles. I love him and he is damn near worthy of that love. If I could just get him to stop snoring. lol just kidding love you are perfect.

 

Can you raed tihs? Olny 54 % of the plepoe can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd wa ht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.

The Hell of Death is that we have to live through it

I come from a close knit large family. I grew up with my cousins. I have 4 close female first cousins. I do have more than that, about... crap I can't remember them all, but we 5 grew up together. All being roughly the same age. I just found out that the next to the oldest Helen. Is going to die in 3 months with luck. Next week if the universe truly hates us all. So FUCK.

 

Why the hell is life such a cock up. My cousin 29 on Monday, two small girls, good career with a future, nice home, on her way to comfortable contentment after years of turmoiled crap. Not to fucking mention that her grandmother (My great Aunt) just had a double mastectomy for advanced breast cancer. AND Her grand father (My great uncle) is going in to the surgeon in three weeks to remove a tumor, which we do not know the state of right now.

 

WTF is this.

Why the hell is all this crumbling down on us in mmmm the span of 2 months. FUCKING ICING. Helen gets to find out a week EXACTLY before what may be her last birthday.

 

Needless to say we all are just fucked. I found out yesterday (Wednesday) after two days of Helen and her mom trying to figure out how to tell people.  I don't know how the fuck you mull this shit. Vicki (Helen's mom) She has the real honest fear that she may be alone, mother and father and child DEAD. Taking care of her grand children, their dad left them a when the youngest was still in the womb. So there is crying and sadness and attempts to feel better through distraction.

 

So I went over there yesterday and I am still here just not sleeping waiting. cooking. sitting. talking about anything else.

 

So no plan, no way to go, no way out.

 

Where do you turn  with this kind of thing.

 

-Kay

Little Word

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three
kids.
He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an
aptitude test.

The human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage
of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we
can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the
forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day."

Taken back, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor

an e-mail address.

To this the manager replies, "You must understand that to a company like
ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an
e-mail address you can hardly expect to be employed by a high-tech firm.
Good day."

Stunned, the man leaves not knowing where to turn and having $10 in his
wallet, he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling 25 lb.
crates of beautiful red tomatoes. He buys a crate, carries it to a busy
corner and displays the tomatoes. In less than 2 hours he sells all the
tomatoes and makes 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more
that day, he ends up with almost $100 and arrives home that night with
several bags of groceries for his family.

During the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next day. By
the end of the week he is getting up early every day and working into the
night. He multiplies his profits quickly.

Early in the second week he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of
tomatoes at a time, but before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a
broken-down pickup truck.

At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His two sons have left their
neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business, his wife is buying
the tomatoes, and his daughter is taking night courses at the community
college so she can keep books for him.

By the end of the second year he has a dozen very nice used trucks and
employs fifteen previously unemployed people, all selling tomatoes. He
continues to work hard.

Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nice trucks
and a warehouse that his wife supervises, plus two tomato farms that the
boys manage. The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of homeless and
jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed over
one million dollars.

Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance.

Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his
new circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his e-mail
address in order to send the final documents electronically.

When the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer and
has no e-mail address, the insurance man is stunned,
"What, you don't have e-mail? No computer? No Internet? Just think where
you would be today if you'd had all of those five years ago!"

"Ha!" snorts the man. "If I'd had e-mail five years ago I would be sweeping
floors at Microsoft and making $5.35 an hour."

Which brings us to the moral of the story:

Since you got this story by internet, you're probably closer to being a
janitor than a millionaire.

Sadly, I received it also.

The Truth

Saved and Single
                             - Author Unknown

                What makes you think that just because I am
                 an Attractive woman of Godly intelligence
                    That I'm incomplete without a mate?
                               Who told you
                                   that
                               Without a man
                            Something's missing
                               From my life?
                                And if so,
                            What would that be?

                                   Love?
                               I love myself
                           And more importantly
                              I love the Lord
                  He told me that when I delight in Him,
                  He will give me the desires of my heart
                                 Security?
        I have everything I need according to His riches in glory.

                                 Intimacy?
                 Now, how's a man going to get to know me
              When he doesn't even know who he is in the Lord
              See my Father told me I'm above a ruby's worth
                          And a gem does not seek
                               It is sought

                  I'm single and that's all right with me

                                   See,
                   it's not that I oppose relationships
                     It's that I detest co-dependency
                                As a woman
                         I know it is not my role
                          To chase after any man

                                Esther 2:14
reads That I am to wait on my king and when he's delighted in me. He will
                            call me by my name.

         My Lord does not intend for me to be needy or desperate.
           I am to be Cherished, Relished, Valued, and Honored,
                      It's not my job to convince him
                          Or Convict him of that,
                       My mate will already know it
                         And consistently show it
                    And he will stay on his knees daily
                           Not just to adore me
                        But to praise the Lord for
                      The virtuous woman he has found
                       So, when you see me by myself
                               I'm not alone
                      I know what I have coming to me

       I'm single and saved, and right now that's all I need to be!
        Please forward this to all the women in your contacts list!
              Whether married or single it applies to us all!

Unbelievable SEX from a TEA

Yes people I said TEA as in hot water and a bag of herbs. Oh man. Well let’s begin at the beginning. A few weeks ago O got a bad cold. I usually get tea from this really nice Oriental store. OK so I went and to my tea but they has this sexual enhancement tea "for women". I got a box of that too. I was thinking that I may need a boost over the Valentines Day holiday if this cold was going to linger on and make me feel crappy the hole time. OK so I bought it and forgot all about it. My mom thought it was something to try out. So I put some in a zippy bag for her. I then put some of the get well tea in a bag for me to take to work. I grabbed my tea and left out for work. So I am at work drinking this tea. By the end of the day I am UNSPEAKABLY HORNY. My mind, being a rational person, is thinking man maybe the fact that I had some really good sex the night before just geared everything up to want more. So off to C's place I went for an evening of sweaty screaming hot fucking sex. I mean I wasn’t through the door ten minutes when I pounced upon his innocent sleeping body. Whipped off the blankets and feasted upon his prone form. I tell you it was great soft sensual, fast and furious, hard grinding sex; the best kind. And after an hour or so I drift off into my "After a hard evening of sex" coma.

I awaken the next morning refreshed and feeling pretty damn good except for some serious congestion. But happily I go to work. And again I am on the tea. And again I am off to C’s place that evening. Well needless to say I gave C my cold and he was feeling bad and not in the mood so we just shared the evening, dinner, and a little couples massage (which I secretly hoped would spark a little something, but it didn’t). My being a good worrying girlfriend I took care of him and took him to bed early so he would be able to go to work. So Wednesday comes along and I have run out of tea at work so I have to take to box with me because I didn’t’ have time to repack my little zippy. I get to C’s place and open up the bag to make him some tea to make him feel better.

And that is when it dawns on me. The little individually wrapped teabags look nothing like what I had been drinking all week. I was so surprised that I told C before it dawned on me that I was talking. He laughed so hard I thought he was going to make me hurt him a bit.

Well he has convinced me to post this oddly fortunate event.

What follows will be a picture of the box so that if you or anyone you know may need a little sexual pick-me-up. I am also planning to um sneak the “for men” version into Charles so that I can see if it works also.

More on that later

Yesterday I went back to the market and bought 2 more boxes just in case the stop carrying that brand.

HA - one can’t be too careful

-Kay
Overly satisfied customer

Picture to come soon, as soon as I fugure out what is up with my digital camera.

Little Joke

A Brazilian

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.
He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
The president drops his head to the table and clutches it with his hands.
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching the
President.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

Losing

I do not wish to lose him. But it is taking him from me. I see the love in his eyes draining away as my happiness leaves me. I take to the bed in hopes of better tomorrow. He dose not understand it is not about him. No sun, hate my job, long commutes in grey dark mornings and dark slow nights. It is all too damn much for me at times and he can't handle it. I understand his inability. No one is really able to deal with depression of the one they love. He wants to make it all better, kiss the booboo and make it go away. Not really feasible at times but he is very good at cheering me up if it is not too bad. I wish I had something to tell him besides "I'm fine".

 

Winter blows, pills don't work, what the hell is a person to do.

HATE IT

Sitting in work,
Tired,
Want to quit my job,
hate getting out of my warm bed,
No solution.

Money drives this world,
Must work for money,
Can't stand to be any more poor than a already am.

So I am stuck in this hell.

At least until I win the lottery.

FUCK

OK if I have to hear one more over pledged white boy uttering "it's just the MAN bringing us down" I am going to snap. Just because you take your trust fund into Best Buy and buy and listen to rap music diving in your overly expensive sedan with heated seats and a CD player. NONE of you up bringing has anything to do with being kept down. You pompous over mussed, opinionated on topics you couldn't possibly know jack shit about, Fuck widget.

 

Now that that is out let me just say that I hate this job just as much as the last one and the new job hunt begins.

 

-Kay - living in a den of jack-assidy so deep that I am drowning

 

 

I HATE THE WEB CENSOR AT MY JOB

 

For fracks' sake people. Is it so bad to want to read order of the stick from work on your own damn lunch half hour (no longer an hour just a half that is on your time not paid. Cheap industrialist bastards). I think that on time I am not getting paid for I should be able to read what ever the fuck I want. They have so much she blocked over the web that it is worse than being in prison. Hell they even have the page to my gym blocked and all it has is address, driving directions, and the frackin calendar for the month. So I have to drive all the way across town to get the monthly calendar. FUCK. What do they think that grown, educated people can't be trusted not to sit all day and read the funny comics. Well they can't say that it is all comics as far as I can tell it is just web comics. All they crap you read in the paper can be accessed just fine. Frack it all to hell. Oh well. Nothing I can do but move jobs again. I like doing that. I am on my second of this year with a pay raise for each. time to go again.

 

Time to be outie

-Kay

Holidays and Good Men the Best Combination

OK so the holidays are supposed to be a time of fun and frolic and whatnot right. Well think again monkey boy. The only people resting this or any holiday are those happy go lucky Children too young to peal a potato and men to fracked in the head to help out. Or those few helpless in the kitchen women who just are not having it. For the rest of us it is hell. Baking nightly Balancing menus with allergies and what who’s spoiled ass kid refuses to eat and all that garbage. AND on top of all that we are expected to come to bed after all this and be romantic….. Well you know what this is the first time in years that I have looked forward to bed “not alone” during the holidays. And that is greatly C’s fault. You see we went to my companies Christmas party over the weekend a nice little formal gig at a lovely hotel. Then out for some real merriment with some coworkers. Well I caught a little stomach bug and spent most of the next day in bed and the potty. C was great, after his little talk about waking people up when I am sick and not just saying I’m fine go back to sleep, taking over the cooking and cleaning and talking to people when they call.

So here’s the good part. I am up in the evening feeling better but not on top of my game for any merry making, but frisky none the less. So here I don’t want to start anything because I didn’t want to disappoint him by bailing out on him half way through. So I tell him this and he is like Get over here and proceeds to sex up my body all nice and lazy fashion. I tell you what there is nothing like not having to drive. Lovely time topped off with some nice RPG chat about the new stuff we are going to be getting into. He also GM’s a game for me and my friends. Quite the nice set up I’ve got.

Later
-Kay

In a perfect world

I would make my extremely comfortable living as a phone sex operator and put this voice to good use.....

Crazy thought brought on by crazy occurrence when I get a call back for some crap I am doing here at work "this happens quite a bit". This guy on the other even is like “is this Kay” and I'm like “yes hello” and he goes all """well hello""". What the FUCK is that about. Just because I am calling you at your place of business and you are a government official dose not mean that I am here to jump your monkey for your scheduled nooner.

Well thats it

Difficulties of Urban sprawl

 

Victims of Progress

 

Good buy to a great large chunk of my childhood. My wonderful childhood. Cherry Hill Farm in Maryland, USA is closing forever and some money hungry pathetic housing developer is going to build over priced houses and town homes. I will be taking the hella far trip back to that part of the country to visit it. One of my first memories is of that farm. Sitting is a corduroy jumper little and cute as all hell eating dirty strawberries warm and strait off the bush, with my mom and grandma.

 

Most of my childhood spring through fall memories are in this place. Fruits and vegetables, Cider , home made ice-cream and the worlds best home made fresh hot donuts. The donuts and ice-cream were the best; Strawberry or raspberry in the summer and pumpkin in the fall. Oh, it just brings a tear to me. 4 generations of us women have gone there to pick the goods that nourished our family. There is just my mom and I left now and we missed the entire spring and summer picking seasons. The announcement was made last week that they are selling. Mostly because the grandchildren don't want to take it over and the old man is tired and ready to retire. Him and his wife, god rest, were always there. The old man has to be old, he was old and his children all grown up when I was a child. Sticky face and fingers nicking candies in the farm store.

 

It is as though a part of me is dieing again, you see my grandma died about 5 years back and I haven't been able to force myself back up there. It was always our place; she my mom and I would go up there for a long day and pick things and have the next to sit in a warm glowing kitchen where life was good and loving and wonderful. Even when I was young and not good for too much in the kitchen grandma always made sure I was learning and able to try things and do even if I was sure to mess it up terribly. It was her opinion that there was only one way to learn to can and make jelly and all the other things that one must know, in her opinion, to run an efficient family and kitchen. You see we have a matriarchal family, we women run it we women provide for it. Not that we do not love our men it is just that for a long time where my family come from black men died young and the women are left to take care of things. I only had one grandfather when I was born, and he was very old and married in later as one of my grans second husband, but I had 3 Grandmas larger than life strong as the hand of a goddess and powerful as a moving storm.

 

That farm has the memories of all of them, for I have lost all 4 throughout my days, and one day I shall lose my mother too. I was not prepared at this time to lose the links that I had to their memories.

Starbucks Green Tea Frappuccino

I awake today to find that the wonderful Green Tea Frapp is no more. I am distraught at this because it gave me great solice at the end of a hot daunting day, long at work.  But I arrived this morning to the news that it will never be served again. The wonderful Tazo® Green Tea Frappuccino has been discontinued. It was wonderful in it's refreshingly un-coffeeness. I am torn in all things today as I have been told that my occasional indulgence is no more. I am outraged and saddened by this revelation. I morn today for its green cool succor at the end of this a long and tiring day.

 

More to come on my search for the Recipe to bring this cool concoction to my home.

 

-Kay

 

 

 

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I have been exiled from my kingdom

OK I am just home from my Cruise

Let’s just sum up the extreme joy on cruising; Clean room, made bed, free meals, nice smiling wait staff, a cleaning crew that is not me, waking in a different location every morning. Oh yes ladies and gentleman it is heaven. And if I ever get rich I will spend most of my time on them. It is not that I am a lazy ass individual who hats to do shit for herself. It is that I have never been so taken care of. Now C dose a great job of taking care of me but weather it is me taking care of him or him taking care of me, one of us has to be doing the work (though we usually split it). It is nice to both be able to sit back and have things just get taken care of. If something is not right there is a guy/gal outside the door in minutes with the cure. Man nicer service doesn’t exist for less than 100 a day. Now don’t get me wrong cruises are hella expensive, even if your tickets are cheap you have to spend air fare, unless you are lucky enough to live in a cruise ship city of port, You have to pay for all drinking and shopping. You can keep it under control if you have willpower. Now we have talked about my lack of willpower when it comes to sex but it is also true to SHOPPING.

OK Travel Day, off to Miami on a plane, I hate to fly but C made it much better (this is our first real trip together). Then to the hotel; both so tired of working 12 hour shifts all week to compensate for our trip that we just sleep the night away.

Day One of the cruise, Board at noon, have nice lunch of lasagna fresh mozzarella cheese over tomato and eggplant, Hazelnut mousse and cheesecake. Off to the looking around the ship. Oh it was splendid, floor after floor of glitz and glamour, in lighted and reflective surfaces made the place seam almost mythical. Our rooms are on the main level so we are in the middle of everything, but far enough away not to be disturbed. And me are off to sunny Nassau, Bahamas. Dinner is lovely so we go back to the room for a little together time (loads of this gets done hehe). Nap and up for a late night snack. This 24 hour hot food thing is great. The Frozen yogurt machine was also constant in it’s dispensing of cool sweet yummy. Now back to the room for a little romp and sleep for the night.

Day two, awaken in lovely Nassau docked, run up to a breakfast of French toast eggs and bacon juices and fruit. Woo hoo! Then it’s off to our blue lagoon snorkel trip on the island. 3 drinks on the transport then they start with the free ones at the lagoon. Ok I am thoroughly ploughed by the time we get there and nice and handsy with C who is just as handsy back and loving every minute of it (I am normally very reserved on PDA). So we get over to the cove for the snorkel. I am still quite inebriated and decide to sit for a few minutes for safety’s sake. Off into the water with C. Lovely fishies and things under there it was awesome. I went off following this rainbow colored blue hued fish and lost C, not to mention the shore. I was WAY out in the ocean. So I set off to get to shore. I met C on the way back he was having fun chasing the fishies too so just a little kiss and fondle and we are off to harass some fore aquatic life. After swimming for quite some time I was dehydrated as hell and trying to get to shore was a bit of a fight to say the least. This nice guy had to help me up after I actually made it. I stumble over to the blanket and lay the hell down for a rest. At this point I have no idea where C is there are so many pasty guys out there. You would think that some of them would have gotten a tan before coming to the beach with the blazing sun to beat down on their sensitive flesh. Oh well hindsight and all. Well I down a bit of water and lay out a bit to get some more energy. I look up and C is there all ringed in sunlight looking just splendid in his loud orange Hawaii print trunks. AND ladies and gentleman I am not lying to you another reason it was hard to keep an eye on him was that there were 2 other tall guys wearing extremely similar trunks. Loud was definitely in on that beach, bright yellows oranges and greens were the order of the day. So we go off to get a little cuddle on in one of the huge hammocks to wait out the rest of the afternoon. Wonderful close time; Light snack then back to the transport to the port.

Shopping time, We wander off into the town to get a few things at a fierce pace because the formal dinner is in less than 2 hours. We make it of course with some good shopping done. Now let me say all men at one time or another must go out with their woman in a tux. If nothing else just to get the pictures. We look so good together. We had our formal dinner (scallops, steak, lobster, shrimp, baked alaska) and had some pictures taken and went to the Capitan’s reception with free cocktails and good funny from this cute little irish fella. Needless to say we were off again to the stateroom for a romp before the evening’s entertainments.

Day three: Awake to the sea outside smelling fresh and a hell of a lot like rain. Pancakes, fruit, and juice (light after last night). Hang out a bit with the family and off to see a show. All the shows were so nice onboard ship. The sea got a little choppy out there that last day but it was fine by lunch. Leisurely day and off to the night entertainment. Hit a few deck parties and got more pictures of the ship and peoples. Back to the room. I tell you what they must put aphrodisiacs in the food and drink onboard ship. We had some of the best sex of our entire relationship. And the sex is great in this one. Not one complaint from me except the hole pulled and strained muscle thing that has me all limping and stiff some times but that is all part of the package.

Day four last day of cruise; Back in Miami off to the Hilton for rest and a meal. I was such a good girl in Miami. Nothing dirty happening there at all now that I think back on it. I was too exhausted both directions. Oh well I will have to make sure that I have more time next time to leave my mark.


Last day of my vacation.
We awake go to lunch cause me slept in and off to a huge flea market the Opa Hialeah (?sp) It was so nice I got shoes for $5 and some cds for like 8 I am thinking of taking a road trip down there in the spring just to go to the flea markets. Man the prices were low and the stuff was great. Definitely a to do again.

Well I guess that about covers it.


And in closing I can not stress the importance of lubricant and Burt’s Bees lip balm. Lube to get you through it Burt if you over do it.

Later,
Kay

Man oh man

I have returned from my much needed vacation and man was it awesome. for those of you out there who can afford it or can save up to do it you MUST take a cruise one day at least 3 or 4 nights. it was awesome with a capital AWESOME. I never had better anything. But at the moment can't talk about it I have a jack load of crap piled up a work. Just wanted to drop a little line to alls the folks out there.

 

Later

-Kay

WOO HOO

I am so excited, though you would not know it. I am going on my cruise tomorrow. Now they great thing is I am going to be getting away from the crap for a while. Gain a little perspective on some things and get to spend some quality time with my C. Now there is a lot to be said for the quality of the time you spend with your significant other. See for a while we have had quantity with low quality. Lots of nothing to do just sitting around and waiting for the next round of sex. Now I love the sex but people need more. So we are off to Jamaica; during hurricane season no less. I do love an adventure and the tickets are hella cheaper cause you stand a better chance of it getting canceled but we are on. Katrina just went through doing no real damage and nothing else on the radar for at least another week or so. that's all the time I need to get some fun and good times.

 

There has to be something to say about sitting around in wonderful surroundings rubbing each others feet feeling fantastic. 

 

Well the day has finally caught up with my happy energy. I am tired so I not going to be able to finish extolling on the virtues of time with your other, I will try to get something out coherent while there.

 

Later

-Kay

 

Found this on another blog and I am loving it (thanks mary & greg)

What a woman really means!!

 

 

What a woman says, what she really means...

I need = I want
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I have a severe case of PMS
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper...
I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really going to hate
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
Let me think about it = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
I was wrong = Not as wrong as you
Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep
I'm not yelling! = Of course I'm yelling, this is important