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Tuesday, January 31

Little Word

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three
kids.
He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an
aptitude test.

The human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage
of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we
can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the
forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day."

Taken back, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor

an e-mail address.

To this the manager replies, "You must understand that to a company like
ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an
e-mail address you can hardly expect to be employed by a high-tech firm.
Good day."

Stunned, the man leaves not knowing where to turn and having $10 in his
wallet, he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling 25 lb.
crates of beautiful red tomatoes. He buys a crate, carries it to a busy
corner and displays the tomatoes. In less than 2 hours he sells all the
tomatoes and makes 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more
that day, he ends up with almost $100 and arrives home that night with
several bags of groceries for his family.

During the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next day. By
the end of the week he is getting up early every day and working into the
night. He multiplies his profits quickly.

Early in the second week he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of
tomatoes at a time, but before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a
broken-down pickup truck.

At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His two sons have left their
neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business, his wife is buying
the tomatoes, and his daughter is taking night courses at the community
college so she can keep books for him.

By the end of the second year he has a dozen very nice used trucks and
employs fifteen previously unemployed people, all selling tomatoes. He
continues to work hard.

Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nice trucks
and a warehouse that his wife supervises, plus two tomato farms that the
boys manage. The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of homeless and
jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed over
one million dollars.

Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance.

Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his
new circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his e-mail
address in order to send the final documents electronically.

When the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer and
has no e-mail address, the insurance man is stunned,
"What, you don't have e-mail? No computer? No Internet? Just think where
you would be today if you'd had all of those five years ago!"

"Ha!" snorts the man. "If I'd had e-mail five years ago I would be sweeping
floors at Microsoft and making $5.35 an hour."

Which brings us to the moral of the story:

Since you got this story by internet, you're probably closer to being a
janitor than a millionaire.

Sadly, I received it also.

Saturday, January 28

The Truth

Saved and Single
                             - Author Unknown

                What makes you think that just because I am
                 an Attractive woman of Godly intelligence
                    That I'm incomplete without a mate?
                               Who told you
                                   that
                               Without a man
                            Something's missing
                               From my life?
                                And if so,
                            What would that be?

                                   Love?
                               I love myself
                           And more importantly
                              I love the Lord
                  He told me that when I delight in Him,
                  He will give me the desires of my heart
                                 Security?
        I have everything I need according to His riches in glory.

                                 Intimacy?
                 Now, how's a man going to get to know me
              When he doesn't even know who he is in the Lord
              See my Father told me I'm above a ruby's worth
                          And a gem does not seek
                               It is sought

                  I'm single and that's all right with me

                                   See,
                   it's not that I oppose relationships
                     It's that I detest co-dependency
                                As a woman
                         I know it is not my role
                          To chase after any man

                                Esther 2:14
reads That I am to wait on my king and when he's delighted in me. He will
                            call me by my name.

         My Lord does not intend for me to be needy or desperate.
           I am to be Cherished, Relished, Valued, and Honored,
                      It's not my job to convince him
                          Or Convict him of that,
                       My mate will already know it
                         And consistently show it
                    And he will stay on his knees daily
                           Not just to adore me
                        But to praise the Lord for
                      The virtuous woman he has found
                       So, when you see me by myself
                               I'm not alone
                      I know what I have coming to me

       I'm single and saved, and right now that's all I need to be!
        Please forward this to all the women in your contacts list!
              Whether married or single it applies to us all!

Wednesday, January 25

Unbelievable SEX from a TEA

Yes people I said TEA as in hot water and a bag of herbs. Oh man. Well let’s begin at the beginning. A few weeks ago O got a bad cold. I usually get tea from this really nice Oriental store. OK so I went and to my tea but they has this sexual enhancement tea "for women". I got a box of that too. I was thinking that I may need a boost over the Valentines Day holiday if this cold was going to linger on and make me feel crappy the hole time. OK so I bought it and forgot all about it. My mom thought it was something to try out. So I put some in a zippy bag for her. I then put some of the get well tea in a bag for me to take to work. I grabbed my tea and left out for work. So I am at work drinking this tea. By the end of the day I am UNSPEAKABLY HORNY. My mind, being a rational person, is thinking man maybe the fact that I had some really good sex the night before just geared everything up to want more. So off to C's place I went for an evening of sweaty screaming hot fucking sex. I mean I wasn’t through the door ten minutes when I pounced upon his innocent sleeping body. Whipped off the blankets and feasted upon his prone form. I tell you it was great soft sensual, fast and furious, hard grinding sex; the best kind. And after an hour or so I drift off into my "After a hard evening of sex" coma.

I awaken the next morning refreshed and feeling pretty damn good except for some serious congestion. But happily I go to work. And again I am on the tea. And again I am off to C’s place that evening. Well needless to say I gave C my cold and he was feeling bad and not in the mood so we just shared the evening, dinner, and a little couples massage (which I secretly hoped would spark a little something, but it didn’t). My being a good worrying girlfriend I took care of him and took him to bed early so he would be able to go to work. So Wednesday comes along and I have run out of tea at work so I have to take to box with me because I didn’t’ have time to repack my little zippy. I get to C’s place and open up the bag to make him some tea to make him feel better.

And that is when it dawns on me. The little individually wrapped teabags look nothing like what I had been drinking all week. I was so surprised that I told C before it dawned on me that I was talking. He laughed so hard I thought he was going to make me hurt him a bit.

Well he has convinced me to post this oddly fortunate event.

What follows will be a picture of the box so that if you or anyone you know may need a little sexual pick-me-up. I am also planning to um sneak the “for men” version into Charles so that I can see if it works also.

More on that later

Yesterday I went back to the market and bought 2 more boxes just in case the stop carrying that brand.

HA - one can’t be too careful

-Kay
Overly satisfied customer

Picture to come soon, as soon as I fugure out what is up with my digital camera.

Wednesday, January 18

Little Joke

A Brazilian

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.
He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
The president drops his head to the table and clutches it with his hands.
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching the
President.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

Monday, January 16

Losing


I do not wish to lose him. But it is taking him from me. I see the love in his eyes draining away as my happiness leaves me. I take to the bed in hopes of better tomorrow. He dose not understand it is not about him. No sun, hate my job, long commutes in grey dark mornings and dark slow nights. It is all too damn much for me at times and he can't handle it. I understand his inability. No one is really able to deal with depression of the one they love. He wants to make it all better, kiss the booboo and make it go away. Not really feasible at times but he is very good at cheering me up if it is not too bad. I wish I had something to tell him besides "I'm fine".

 

Winter blows, pills don't work, what the hell is a person to do.

HATE IT

Sitting in work,
Tired,
Want to quit my job,
hate getting out of my warm bed,
No solution.

Money drives this world,
Must work for money,
Can't stand to be any more poor than a already am.

So I am stuck in this hell.

At least until I win the lottery.

Monday, January 9

FUCK

OK if I have to hear one more over pledged white boy uttering "it's just the MAN bringing us down" I am going to snap. Just because you take your trust fund into Best Buy and buy and listen to rap music diving in your overly expensive sedan with heated seats and a CD player. NONE of you up bringing has anything to do with being kept down. You pompous over mussed, opinionated on topics you couldn't possibly know jack shit about, Fuck widget.
 
Now that that is out let me just say that I hate this job just as much as the last one and the new job hunt begins.
 
-Kay - living in a den of jack-assidy so deep that I am drowning