I do declare

Well all preparations are set and the weekend picked out. Last weekend did not work for logistic reasons of scheduling. Let the debauchery begin; in one week 4 days and counting.

-Kay

Rekindling the magic.

 

So that was a confusing two weeks or so. So now I am here. My cold feet are gone and I am still loving the man I came with. I think I want to plan us a weekend getaway with all the trimmings. Hotel, hot tub, room service, and all the freaky sex that can be fit into 2 days without too much injury. So Far I have the toy box packed, 3 bottles of our favorite wines, picnic basket ready to be packed. Now all I need do is go shopping for something nice tight crotchless with loads of cleavage. Not a problem.

 

Will report back on the progress of said weekend. I am just sorry that it can't happen this weekend. That would have been great. But what can you say.

 

-Kay

Things look clearer In the morning

Morning has come and I didn't pass on from a guilty conscience. A decision has been made and the Sam problem has been solved. Thanks to my best friend, Thanks for the advice girl. So I have a plan and it is in action as we speak. There is nothing wrong with a little harmless flirtation and I know this. I also know that there are parts of me that need indulging from time to time. With the stresses of life at the moment Charles and I are not sinking up on some Key points. I think Sam filled in the gap for the evening. So I am going to go with shit happens and get on with my life.

-Kay

Confusion

I am so Confused and I have nothing to tell myself to make it all better.

I made a mistake, that doesn't feel like a mistake. I was tooling around online last night, I am an insomniac, and I started to chat with this random guy. No biggie Charles knows that I am a normal person and I talk to other people. Well I ended up in a voice chat with this guy Sam he was so comforting and I don't know It was all so innocent at first. We grew up in adjacent areas and were talking about how much things have changed and where we think the city is headed. Some how things moved into a more adult area, about some clubs that used to exist and experiences there in. So needless to say I ended up have some great cyber with this guy. Which to date the last time that kind of thing happened it was with this hot guy from overseas when I was like 18. So I am freaked. Charles is not a super jealous guy but we do have a ask for approval policy which neither of us has ever violated to my knowledge.

He is my problem, I love Charles and I would never do anything to hurt him intentionally I want to know where this Sam thing came from. How do I get around the analyzing it to see what the hell is on the other side? How do I look through the emo without jumping ship and moving on. Which I do not want to do. I just love attentions from men: Not sexual directly, but sexually fueled.  

Oh Gods things are all messed up. I am now sitting at work thinking about last night and DAMN it was so hot. Not that Charles is not the shit in bed but damn that man is good. I am a very shy person with new people even people I chat with online. But I found myself opening to this complete stranger and I liked the feel of slight vulnerability with the safety of being home and not being pressured to go meet this guy even though we live less than 40 miles from each other.

SHIT. OK nothing more now. I am going to go out for a walk and see what I can come up with.

 

 

 

 

Good morning Folks Just a little thought

Everything is coming up crappy at the moment. But life is good. I am in the process of moving Charles into my place, it is much bigger than his little place. So I have to make some closet space. I am not getting rid of things I used to think were so important as to take up 4 double wide closets in the house. Clothes and shoes. But it is hard they are like old friends reminders of times past and future possibilities. It is weird though it seams the more crap I clean out the better I feel. I seam to be getting along with the world a little better recently. I was hospitalized a few weeks ago, hence the pause. And I have learned a few very important things about my relationship. I love this crazy stupid man. I may want to sleep with others but this is the person that I want to come home to at the end of the day. Now if he only had a nice Irish accent things would be great. J/K I love him the way he is.

Long overdue - Day One

These are the shoes I wore yesterday. They are one of my favorite pairs. I wore them a while back with some Rose patterned stockings that I couldn't find for this day but you will see them eventually.