I do declare

Well all preparations are set and the weekend picked out. Last weekend did not work for logistic reasons of scheduling. Let the debauchery begin; in one week 4 days and counting.

-Kay

Rekindling the magic.

 

So that was a confusing two weeks or so. So now I am here. My cold feet are gone and I am still loving the man I came with. I think I want to plan us a weekend getaway with all the trimmings. Hotel, hot tub, room service, and all the freaky sex that can be fit into 2 days without too much injury. So Far I have the toy box packed, 3 bottles of our favorite wines, picnic basket ready to be packed. Now all I need do is go shopping for something nice tight crotchless with loads of cleavage. Not a problem.

 

Will report back on the progress of said weekend. I am just sorry that it can't happen this weekend. That would have been great. But what can you say.

 

-Kay

Things look clearer In the morning

Morning has come and I didn't pass on from a guilty conscience. A decision has been made and the Sam problem has been solved. Thanks to my best friend, Thanks for the advice girl. So I have a plan and it is in action as we speak. There is nothing wrong with a little harmless flirtation and I know this. I also know that there are parts of me that need indulging from time to time. With the stresses of life at the moment Charles and I are not sinking up on some Key points. I think Sam filled in the gap for the evening. So I am going to go with shit happens and get on with my life.

-Kay

Confusion

I am so Confused and I have nothing to tell myself to make it all better.

I made a mistake, that doesn't feel like a mistake. I was tooling around online last night, I am an insomniac, and I started to chat with this random guy. No biggie Charles knows that I am a normal person and I talk to other people. Well I ended up in a voice chat with this guy Sam he was so comforting and I don't know It was all so innocent at first. We grew up in adjacent areas and were talking about how much things have changed and where we think the city is headed. Some how things moved into a more adult area, about some clubs that used to exist and experiences there in. So needless to say I ended up have some great cyber with this guy. Which to date the last time that kind of thing happened it was with this hot guy from overseas when I was like 18. So I am freaked. Charles is not a super jealous guy but we do have a ask for approval policy which neither of us has ever violated to my knowledge.

He is my problem, I love Charles and I would never do anything to hurt him intentionally I want to know where this Sam thing came from. How do I get around the analyzing it to see what the hell is on the other side? How do I look through the emo without jumping ship and moving on. Which I do not want to do. I just love attentions from men: Not sexual directly, but sexually fueled.  

Oh Gods things are all messed up. I am now sitting at work thinking about last night and DAMN it was so hot. Not that Charles is not the shit in bed but damn that man is good. I am a very shy person with new people even people I chat with online. But I found myself opening to this complete stranger and I liked the feel of slight vulnerability with the safety of being home and not being pressured to go meet this guy even though we live less than 40 miles from each other.

SHIT. OK nothing more now. I am going to go out for a walk and see what I can come up with.

 

 

 

 

Good morning Folks Just a little thought

Everything is coming up crappy at the moment. But life is good. I am in the process of moving Charles into my place, it is much bigger than his little place. So I have to make some closet space. I am not getting rid of things I used to think were so important as to take up 4 double wide closets in the house. Clothes and shoes. But it is hard they are like old friends reminders of times past and future possibilities. It is weird though it seams the more crap I clean out the better I feel. I seam to be getting along with the world a little better recently. I was hospitalized a few weeks ago, hence the pause. And I have learned a few very important things about my relationship. I love this crazy stupid man. I may want to sleep with others but this is the person that I want to come home to at the end of the day. Now if he only had a nice Irish accent things would be great. J/K I love him the way he is.

Long overdue - Day One

These are the shoes I wore yesterday. They are one of my favorite pairs. I wore them a while back with some Rose patterned stockings that I couldn't find for this day but you will see them eventually.

New Revelation

OK here is the thing. I just did my spring shoe breakout and I think I may have a problem. I have 56 pairs of summer shoes. I may be a shoeaholic . SO I thought I would share my sickness with people who might enjoy it. So I have decided that I will post one pick each day (about) of a different pair of shoes. I just have to set up a way to do so. So everyone who knows someone who loves shoes/feeties let them all know. It shall be the sorta daily Kay Shoe Review. Starting next Monday at the latest. Check back for updates.

Long live the shoes.
-Kay

LIFE SUCKS

There is no getting around it
just a pure dumb-ass

Oh well

and yeah I am not dying.

after hundreds in fucking medical costs I am not even going to have a surgery,

FUCK
It would be nice to be home from work for a week or two on sick leave. I bet they are rethinking that home "Unlimited" sick leave policy of theirs.

Oh well here I am poor and a month behind on my bills because of it. but I guess that is my problem. I should have just went to my very good friend M and gotten some pain killers and just waited it out. which is what I paid all this damn money to do. I got a work excuse and that was all.

Man the american medical system sucks big fat hairy sweaty monkey balls.

They run 2 grand worth of tests and all they can tell you is UM it went away so we are not worried that we didn't find anything wrong with you. they could have said your 7th chakra was out of alignment and the great circle of tirnine granted you cleansing.

But that is just me running off at the fingertips.

Night night all

SICK

Not dying yet but wish I was. There is nothing worse than being sick when
u have things to do. Things u actually want to do. Nuts, now I am stuck. not
dead but feeling as though that where not such a bad state.
I do however get to try out Charles' new pocket pc thingie. Tiz cool
to surf from bed. guess it is all bad.

Though the touch screen typing thing is kinda hard.

Oh well, I guess I have to deal. I will check in later.
KAY

PS
Jan - can u call me monday. thanks

Black Women in Fantasy Art

NONEXISTENT

That is what black women in fantasy art are. We are unseen. I am tired of it. If I want to have fantasy art in my house there are plenty of nice things out there. But to be realistic I do not want to walk around my house looking at half dressed white women all damn day. I purchase a lot of art. and a good portion of it depicts women like myself. Black strong and proud. But I can't get fantasy art which shows the same.

A few years ago at a science fiction convention called VisionConn in Middle of nowhere Missouri I say some small pieces by an artist I didn't know. i thought that it was the start of something. It was not. And I can not remember the name of that artist so that I could pay his extortionist's fees just to have some black sci-fi/fantasy art in my collection. To be perfectly honest I am from a very multiracial family and background so I do have a lot of all types of art but this particular subgroup is lacking and I am starting to get very disheartened to the fact that I can't even seam to find any on the web. I mean besides a few statues that cost a fortune. If anyone out there knows of any please let me know.

Yeah Audio

Potter TRAPPED

I am trapped.

Held hostage by the choices of my life.

I want to be a potter. To create great things out of ceramics and porcelain. But I am stuck in a dead end job behind a computer that is giving me Repetitive Stress Disorder so that I will not even be able to enjoy pottery when I retire. I will be crippled from the use of crappy non-ergonomic keyboards and mouse for mu professional career.

 

DAMN

I GOT TO GET OUT

Just a little truth for the ladies I located out there

Why Geeks and Nerds Are Worth It...

In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner typing away on his laptop? The following are reasons why I think my fellow females should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less attention to the flashy boys.

1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they’re well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are... plus, I’ve never had a geek guy not call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE.

2.) They’re useful. In this tech-savvy world, it’s great to have a b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself.

3.) They’re more romantic than they’re given credit for. Ok true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such... but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends.

4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like ‘em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like ‘em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.

5.) They’ve got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing?

6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it’ll make you happy. Due again to their neglected status, they’re more attentive than guys who “have more options”. Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they’ll likely have mental lists of all the things they’d love to do once they GOT a girlfriend.

7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I’m not really familiar with this myself, but I’ve friends who’ve been intimate with geek guys and it’s raves all around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra... all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all) coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination.

8.) They’re relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you’re not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza?

9.) Most frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You won’t have to worry much about your geek guy getting his “groove” on with club hotties because, frankly, he’ll be too busy rooting around under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won’t have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10 times, he’ll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest electronics store. I’ve seen this happen.
Me: “Eww. Victoria Secret’s Models... They’re so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!”
Geek Guy: “ooooooo...”
Me: “Hey!” *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store*
Geek Guy: “What?”
Me: “Never mind...”

10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can arrange swaps, as in, you’ll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf princess if he’ll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn’t want to go someplace with you, you won’t have to worry much about what he’s up to. You’ll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It’s ok. He’s used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light.

11.) His friends aren’t jerks. I can’t stress this enough. You’ll more likely get “Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!” than “Hey hot stuff back that ass up here and let me get some grub on...” They’re awkward geeks too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and, more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code... a geek can dream).

12.) They’re rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty t-shirt for comfort? He won’t care. He does too! They won’t get pissy if you don’t wear make-up or don’t want to bother primping your hair. If you gain a few pounds, they won’t try their best to make you feel like crap.

13.) They’re usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like. See #5. You won’t have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok maybe a little), he’ll have loads of other interesting things to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce...

14.) You’ll almost never have to hear, “Yaw dawg whazzap!!” plop out of their mouths. Unless it’s in jest. They spell properly, use correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and the floor. They almost never get “wasted”, so you won’t have to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps...

15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends: They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look (though that’s a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than “DaMN baby you got a fine ass!!!” Believe me.

CHANGE not always bad

OK huge Life changes to be dealt with. I now have a child. OK not mine just attached to my life. My Charles has a daughter, Anne, who he now has full custody of. OK so now I am weekday mom. Until they get visitation thing settled I am mom for now. OK so I am trying to teach the child things that to me she should have learned a hell of a long time ago. Frustrating as hell but necessary if she is to function as an adult.

 

BUT the great thing is I haves me a little girl to have fun with. SO SHOPPING TIME has in sued. I have got all kinds of stuff. Now I know a lot of kids are not into some stuff but I went and got sewing stuff. Knitting stuff, cross-stitch, even some appliqué stuff. The only thing she likes is things that glitter. This is the Bling-Blinginest little white girl I have ever met. Not at all a bad thing. I pretty much went with things I likes that that I liked at that age and it is a hole lot of fun to be planning a trip back to childhood. You know just the planning of all this has done wonders for my attitude. I am a pissy depressed person who doesn't like upset, but you know what this has gone extremely well. Though it has made some serious concerns surface.

 

What do parents do with their "Adult toys"…. Especially when they look like everyday items. IE exercise balls. I didn't know that kids loved the damn things so much. And I am like HOLY SHIT… Gotta hide everything. But I guess the everyday crap is not that much of a problem. I am just dreading her getting old enough to be curious about the locked things but that is a blog for another day.

 

Right now I am having a ball. We are going to learn to cross-stitch this weekend.

 

Ya handy craft.

 

-Kay

Invisible Neighbor

Today there is a problem. We can all see the problems. We all overlook them and move on in your days expecting someone else to deal with the problem. SEP blindness. Someone Else's Problem. That is part of the problem. There was a time that children didn't disappear off the streets in droves, and no one has seen a thing. Evil doers used to be afraid to come into a neighborhood for fear that they would be seen as an outsider, someone who dose not belong. Now however most of us don't even know our neighbor. Hell I couldn't recognize my next-door neighbor if I say them at the grocer.  

 

It is a spreading difficulty. When I was a child we had "Block Parties" and Community center pools and recreation centers. Now they build these huge ass neighborhoods without even a pool for the kids or a playground.

 

Well we all need to go out and meet our neighbors this weekend. I am going to bake a cake for the new people and see if we can't get to know some new people.

 

-Kay

THE BALL!!!

OK at a store they are called "Stability/Exercise Ball" or some such thing. Now these are not expensive. Also on the market is the "Love Ball". Expensive as and the only added bonus is a position chart.

SOOO

I thought to myself that all I need do is purchase the largest workout ball I could find and PRESTO. Good times to be had by all.

 

Now let me just tell you that this is the best $10 I have spent for like a shit load of a time. So I went back and got a spare.

 

You can do some things on these balls that are FANTASTIC

 

OK Like

 

the ball is 75cm

it compresses as you support your weight on it.

Charles is very tall so if I sit on it he can kneel or balance for  a higher angle.

I can straddle him for SERIOUS clitoral stimulation.

 

I am still working out the particulars.

 

ALL ladies out there need to go to their local wal-mart, "five or less", or whatever you have that you can get one. Spend the cash and experiment, have a screaming good time.

 

Now Charles and I have great sex on average. but this was that creaming back scaring disturbing the peace banging, haven't seen you in forever fucking.

 

Oh My GOD yes it was spectacular.

 

 

This is going to be something that I am going to enjoy exploring for it's funness. AND I want to attempt using multiple balls in different sizes.

 

Oh yeah entertainment for WEEKS.

 

Gotta go get some coffee. Y'all know I am not sleeping much.

 

-Later

 

 

 

WOOT OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.woot.com/default.aspx

 

Go get your Woot ON!!!

Ladies and gentalman this is the man we should all be looking for

Find a guy who

calls you beautiful instead of hot,

calls you back when you hang up on him,

will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

kisses your forehead,

wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,

holds your hand in front of his friends,

is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

turns to his friends and says, "...that's her/him.", with a smile.

 

 

 

 

Now if we would all track down this man and clone him...

Just kidding. I got this in an email from a good friend and it made me realise how good I have it with Charles. I love him and he is damn near worthy of that love. If I could just get him to stop snoring. lol just kidding love you are perfect.