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Sunday, June 5

Sometimes I feel a little crazy: and first kiss

Like a crazy person. My mind is filled with shit. I love c so badly that it is painful sometimes. In my life I have never experienced true jealousy about some guy. I am not used to it. I am jealous of everything that takes time away from me. Maybe that is why I ignored that little voice, "check the clock" I got to keep him a few mins longer, but that meant he was in a hurry to get out to get to work. So I get no kiss. I feel like going after him, though that would be wrong. And look a little too needy.

Now when I say that I love C it is not one of those little piddley school girl bull-shit loves. I have loved him since the day I first saw him. This was oh say 10 years ago; the time 1994'ish (yeah I'm getting up there), the place hermitage, or some other stupid little competition, the fact, me and my good friend B walking to meet our section (band geeks we were), passing another group form a school near ours. There is this tall cute m/f with a 3ft pony tail on the top of his head swinging it like a helicopter. He is looking so damn cute just hanging with his friends, comfortable in his skin like no one at that age has a right to be. Though I knew I was and that I wanted him to be mine and I his. I wanted him to be my first. I turned to B and said "I'm going to have that... Don't quite know how yet but I will"

Where there is a will there is always a way. So it is just a few short hours later (the next day) I begin making inquiries around my acquaintances looking for someone that went to that school who could get me those digits. And as luck would have it a slut from my church (of all places) was his best friend. Just described the scene (ie. Helicopter head) and she was like hells yeah I know him well (jealousy number ONE) she left out the we are good nonsexual friends part but and me knowing that she was like the town tramp I was like FUCK I want nothing to do with her ex men. But she laughs, probably reading it off my face and is like he is like my lil brother. Relief. So I get his number and she gives mine to him. And as the age old high schooler thing to do three way call time. So we get the introduction and shit and P bales.

There we are high lvl strangers at this point, and we begin to talk. We have everything is common. ST, SciFi, Band, Competitive Swimming, Military bratthood, we spend so much time on the phone with one another that my parents put in a second line so they can have their phone back. I think the thing that really sent them over the edge is us watching TV together over the phone. Not talking just watching and then discussing it on the commercials and afterward. Movies on the tube that way too. Discussing how inaccurate this where with the comic or the book that preceded the movie or TV show. OK true geekdom and we knew it. And we loved each other for it. I could be myself, me the real me, the ST loving, novel reading, thespian who wanted nothing more that to go to music college and spend the rest of her life do ing stage in off Broadway (who wants all that pressure or Broadway) and something as artsy as I can fit in the rest of the time. Not to mention sexing the shit out of C as often as possible.

Let me tell you the conversation stayed suspiciously away from sex for the first months of phone chatting. Then is ashes me to his military ball, I am SO FUCKING HAPPY. I could have jumped off the highest building my friend. So the shopping begins, the ball isn't far away just a few weeks, I remember trying on like 100 dressed and going with the little too short peach after 5 lacy over satin thing. Turns out one of his favorite things in the world was lacy things. hehe ESP like a m/f.

OK so it was weird going to go to a ball with someone that you never met IRL, this was before internet dating for anyone I knew even existed, except slutty P. But she was the vast exception not the norm.

I can't remember him picking me up I just remember the HOLLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR. He had told me that he had had to cut it for ROTC of all things but it hadn't registered with my mental picture of him. He looked so GOOD. I was sorry I missed pulling that long hair, but his short, barely regulation shaggy was just too cute on that face. So I can't remember the drive there (his mom drove, and yes we where that young) or what we talked about at first but I remember the dancing.. For one thing he was like 6'2 already and I was like 5'6ish not yet growing on either account. My dress being shot kind had this habit or raising a little too fucking high when I put my arms around his neck, nothing showing thanks to luck and a guardian angle but enough to get some looks from the other boys.

At the time I was a DD cup and a tiny waist and a cute round ass that just made those skinny bitches gag. We looked SO good together. We were there with some friends of his and hung out over much dancing and punch. Now the one thing I truly remember about the night was the kiss. OK driving home (or rather being driven home, his mom is such a trooper) we are talking , you know the did you have a good time, you look so pretty shit, he was so complimenty I was spinning. Then he leans over and kisses me. My head is spinning the softest firmness to touch my lips ever (yet). We kissed for what seamed like forever (his mom pretended not to notice) Not my first kiss but my first real kiss with passion and emotion behind it, I wanted to let him take my clothes off and fuck the hell out of me right there. But we remembered where the fuck we where and disengaged. Damn near to my house at that point (where the fuck did all those miles go). So I was home he walked me to my door and kissed me again, long sweet, he touched my breast (PUSSY ON FIRE). He stopped himself and kissed me again and was gone. I went inside and told my mom I had a GREAT time and she just smiled and went off to bed.

I floated to my room and had some hard core masturbation time before he called me to say he was home, and we talked the night away. I was so happy that I went to school the next day energized from the dance on no sleep and didn't kill a single person. In short a good day.


Mithrandir said...

Why not give us a blog on your Television/movie discussion?

Mishawn said...

I will try to. but it may take me a while. bear with me :)